Comments on Stephen Parrish: Gabriel

I'm 35 - do you think I've got another 10 or 20 ye...

2008-12-01T09:40:00.000+01:00

I'm 35 - do you think I've got another 10 or 20 years?

That's when mine started to subside.

I remember when it was nice to go three hours without pain. I was euphoric the first time I went three days without pain. Now I go three years at a time without any headaches at all, not even normal ones.

Bernard posted a picture of his technique on his blog.

My condition isn't as rare as I thought it was. I'...

2008-12-01T06:17:00.000+01:00

My condition isn't as rare as I thought it was. I'll repeat, though: migraines become less frequent in middle age. A neurologist promised me that was true, and it came true.

I have an aunt and cousin who both had them, so I never thought it was rare. My daughter's only 11 and she's started getting headaches, I'm praying to God they're not migraines - I didn't start until 18.

I'm 35 - do you think I've got another 10 or 20 years?... Mine tend to have triggers, some I can control, but others - like hormones, I can't... I'm guessing I've got a good fifteen years to go....

But there's a good reason to look forward to middle age.

Go Cubbies

I'm still in mourning from the season we just ended... I may not even get excited this spring when pitchers and catchers report... if I didn't love the sport so much, I might go off baseball entirely.

Unfortunately, I love baseball. And, being a Cubs fan is kind of like being a nationality, you really can't eradicate it from your bloodstream, no matter how much they make you want to.

Gorgeous.You've reminded me, Stephen, that I need ...

2008-11-30T02:34:00.000+01:00

Gorgeous.

You've reminded me, Stephen, that I need to write about NEED and the response it elicits in others. What makes a person, family even, say, "I wish there was something I could doooo." and yet do nothing, whereas someone else puts a $20 in an envelope and goes about his daily business?

We have our "situation" right now, as you know. I'm learning firsthand, for the third time, no less, how a helping hand, a guardian angel, a kind soul can enter your life and make such a difference. I'm so glad you have Gabriel.

This was a perfect post for me to read today. Perfect.

To Gabriel - I admire you.

I hope your migraines have subsided. Your description was startling.

Happy Thanksgiving.

KIM

Gabriel, thank you. Like your pseudonym, you are a...

2008-11-29T14:30:00.000+01:00

Gabriel, thank you. Like your pseudonym, you are an angel.

As for classic migraines and all they entail, I can raise my hand on that one. Mine began when I was twenty-one and fortunately have lessened in frequency and symptoms over the years. They can be inherited (my mother and brother both suffered from them.) According to what I've read, men are more likely to get cluster headaches (one-sided) than women.

Bernard, thank you for describing your acupressure technique. I'll try it next time.

I have more storiesYou should talk about them.

2008-11-28T18:31:00.000+01:00

I have more stories

You should talk about them.

I never had migraines, but I did suffer nose bleed...

2008-11-28T18:23:00.000+01:00

I never had migraines, but I did suffer nose bleeds caused by malnutrition. I too lived in a cold room near a university, and I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that I did resort to shoplifting from a grocery store to survive. I have more stories, but suffice it so say there isn't a day that goes by I'm not grateful for having a room over my head, warmth, companionship, and plenty to eat. I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

My house was an awful mess and I couldn't do laund...

2008-11-27T15:14:00.000+01:00

My house was an awful mess and I couldn't do laundry for months. It was humiliating, and I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for help.

I hear you. We need to keep our eyes open, to recognize when this kind of thing happens to others.

Unfortunately, I dealt with hunger less honorably than you. I resorted to shoplifting for awhile during my late teens.

Believe me, I considered it. But I was more afraid of jail than hunger, even though they feed you in jail.

Funny tidbit, when I enlisted in the Army I asked the recruiter how soon I could be underway, and whether they served meals on the airplane. He promised me a hot meal as soon as I took the oath (it was the one truth he told; the Army does indeed feed its people well) and said if I joined the infantry they could take me immediately. I joined the infantry.

my dad would tell me about how debilitating your h...

2008-11-27T15:06:00.000+01:00

my dad would tell me about how debilitating your headaches were

I almost forgot! During this period you and your family came down to Urbana for the weekend. You guys liked to stay at the Ramada Inn on Neil Avenue. I hung out with you, your sister, and your parents, eating my way through all the glorious snacks you'd stocked your room with, and availing myself of your father's generosity with cigarettes. You didn't know it, but I hadn't eaten in days. We went out to dinner somewhere, I think Chinese (I might be wrong; it was your family's favorite restaurant in Urbana). When you left, my belly was full and my pockets were filled with smokes.

Thanks. I don't know what else to say. It would be the last time I would see any of you, and the last time I would have an opportunity to see your mother. Sniff.

Shortly thereafter I dropped out of school altogether and went to work at that same Ramada on Neil. Having spiraled back down to line cook (having started in the business as a line cook and risen to banquet chef at a four star hotel) I struggled with depression and finally joined the Army. I like to say the Army saved my life, but really it was the people who fed me before I enlisted.

This is a very moving post.In the Muslim world (wh...

2008-11-27T10:55:00.000+01:00

This is a very moving post.

In the Muslim world (where I live) people rarely go hungry (or homeless) because charity is an important part of the religion and culture.

Looking at it from an Ayn Rand-ian perspective, I suspect that your anonymous giver would not call his generosity "charity," since you didn't ask for help and he has a vested interest in giving it.

But I would argue that we all have a vested interest in giving charity since, as Scrooge says, "mankind is our business."

Unfortunately, I dealt with hunger less honorably than you. I resorted to shoplifting for awhile during my late teens.

Your Gabriel is a godsend, and is an angel of bles...

2008-11-27T04:24:00.000+01:00

Your Gabriel is a godsend, and is an angel of blessing.

I used to get horrible migraines from high school until the late 1990s when I came down with deep vein thrombosis and started on treatment with warfarin. After that, no more migraines or headaches (only viral caused ones which don't last). The only downside to this story is I still have thrombosis and remain on warfarin due to a degeneration in my spine.

Writers with issues seem to write the best stories.

Stephen, I agree about the one good thing about gr...

2008-11-27T00:23:00.000+01:00

Stephen, I agree about the one good thing about growing old. I may have one or two migraines a year now, opposed to once a month. They are still as vicious, though. I have an image in my head of me plucking out my eyeball and having putrid green smoke exiting the vacant socket.

If I could only pop out my eye...

Anyway, I knew this was a real story, my dad would tell me about how debilitating your headaches were, and I thought that Pizza Hut looked familiar, but then they all do look the same.

I wish I could tell you there was more to it than ...

2008-11-27T00:21:00.000+01:00

I wish I could tell you there was more to it than what I've written in my post; but it's mainly the thumbs just under the base of the skull. My sister gets them like you do, Merry. It gets so bad her eyes bulge. She also gets one huge lump I can feel which breaks up under thumb pressure. Once it dissipates, her pain goes away. I will take some closeups of where the thumbs go this weekend, and do a more detailed demo. It will work. I believe it to be the only reason my wife has stuck with me over three decades. :)

I don't think I've ever read your blog either, wha...

2008-11-26T22:48:00.000+01:00

I don't think I've ever read your blog either, what a first impression you make. What a lasting impression Gabriel has made on you...and all of us.

Thank you for sharing this story.

My timing was perfect - choosing to read your blog...

2008-11-26T21:51:00.000+01:00

My timing was perfect - choosing to read your blog for the first time today.

Gabriel, if you're reading this, you are the ultimate of splendiferous.

And so is Stephen.

I get them only on my right side.Me too!They're so...

2008-11-26T21:41:00.000+01:00

I get them only on my right side.

Me too!

They're so bad that my right eye swells halfway shut and my vision stays blurred for days...

Yes!

I hate those people who say, "oh, I've got a migraine" but they look fine.

They should be sterilized!

Unless you're either laying on the floor with your palms pressing both sides of your head to keep it from imploding, or vomiting while hoping fervently that somehow that will make the damn pain go away, you don't have migraines.

Halleluja! Tell it, Sista!

My condition isn't as rare as I thought it was. I'll repeat, though: migraines become less frequent in middle age. A neurologist promised me that was true, and it came true. It's hard to describe the euphoria of not being in pain.

Go Cubbies!

Bernard, please come show me how to do that massag...

2008-11-26T21:27:00.000+01:00

Bernard, please come show me how to do that massage.

I get them only on my right side. They're so bad that my right eye swells halfway shut and my vision stays blurred for days... sometimes I get black eyes from it. I hate those people who say, "oh, I've got a migraine" but they look fine. Unless you're either laying on the floor with your palms pressing both sides of your head to keep it from imploding, or vomiting while hoping fervently that somehow that will make the damn pain go away, you don't have migraines.

They got worse after I had my first baby... they were blessedly gone for the entire pregnancy. Then when she was three months old, the first hit... wanting to die is an understatement. I couldn't even crawl to the bathroom. I could not keep the tears out of my eyes. I preferred full blown labor.

The drugs do work for me, but they take a while. Icepacks help some and I've forced myself to function because I have no choice.

I hope you never get one again, Stephen, they're flippin terrible.

I have an angel named Gabriel - that's what I named him, but I think it's accurate... very long story, but mine never bought me pizza.

Gabriel, if you're reading, I think I love you a little... and Stephen, I'm glad you made it through - I'd have no one to bitch slap if you didn't :-)

Happy thanksgiving... and thank you for making me cry.

Aww. I've been sweet on you since Miss Snark days...

2008-11-26T21:10:00.000+01:00

Aww. I've been sweet on you since Miss Snark days. Thanks for visiting.

Geez. I didn't even notice the hugely prominent pl...

2008-11-26T20:52:00.000+01:00

Geez. I didn't even notice the hugely prominent placement of the news link on top. Thank you, Stephen!!

Stephen, this was stunning. I'm so glad I came ove...

2008-11-26T20:49:00.000+01:00

Stephen, this was stunning. I'm so glad I came over here today. It made me tear up--both from the beauty of this friendship, and the quality of the storytelling. Gabriel is the only kind of saint that really matters.

And you're an amazing writer.

(Thanks for linking, btw. I'll add your blog, too!)

Seriously? No joshing this time, Stephen?Nope.Was ...

2008-11-26T19:22:00.000+01:00

Seriously? No joshing this time, Stephen?

Nope.

Was it the Pizza Hut by U of L?

Green Street in Urbana, Illinois. I spent my first two undergraduate years at the University of Illinois and finished at Louisville. The only Hut I remember eating at in Louisville is the one on Outer Loop.

You're such an awesome writer, it's hard to tell if this is real or not.

More, please.

Poverty is a terrible thing. I remember always being hungry. I think it is why I love food so much now.

Good food is better than . . . well, a lot of things. Sounds like several of us have experiences in common we didn't know about.

I've had migraines for almost ten years now, but rarely more than two per month.

They diminish in middle age. One of the positive aspects of growing old.

I came up with a way to massage the base of her neck and top of the spinal cord which would lift the migraine immediately if she told me soon enough;

You should blog about this, Bernard, and diagram the method if possible.

Thanks for the reminder. I have been there.

Talk about it.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too sir!You remind me of...

2008-11-26T18:59:00.000+01:00

Happy Thanksgiving to you too sir!

You remind me of my brother. I have 3, all of which are younger than I, making me eldest, but my "oldest" brother..... so very humble, but with so much to tell the world.

Thank God for GodSends like good ol' Gabe. People like that keep the world going round.

Nice post, Steve. Thanks for the reminder. I hav...

2008-11-26T18:38:00.000+01:00

Nice post, Steve. Thanks for the reminder. I have been there. Think I know who Gabriel is. Thank you, Gabriel, from the both of us.

Bernard, I do something similar to myself, also in...

2008-11-26T18:23:00.000+01:00

Bernard, I do something similar to myself, also in the base of my skull. I also have a spot beneath my right ear that if I press hard enough, the pain goes away. I just worry about cutting off blood flow to my brain. I'll teach my hubby what you've said - thanks!

You are the man, Gabriel.I have a cure for migrain...

2008-11-26T18:09:00.000+01:00

You are the man, Gabriel.

I have a cure for migraines without drugs. You need someone who cares about you and is patient enough to administer it.

My wife suffered week long migraines, which sometimes ended in trips to the emergency room and drugs that never cut the pain. I came up with a way to massage the base of her neck and top of the spinal cord which would lift the migraine immediately if she told me soon enough; and would lift it after about fifteen minutes, even if it was full blown, including nausea and flashing lights. If you have the migraine victim sit on a stool, you put your thumbs at the nape of the neck, at the base of the skull with your fingers at the areas on both sides around the temples. You must explore with your thumbs until you find the spot which causes the migraine sufferer the most pain (most always the area is formed in an actual lump or group of small lumps which actually dissipate). If the sufferer gets a weird feeling, like a lifting sensation, as you massage it, you’re in the right spot. Dig your thumbs in gently at first, and progressively harder while supporting and massaging at the temples with your fingers. Keep increasing the pressure with the thumbs until as with my wife, her feet start to pound. Expand the area of your massage gradually, and I am afraid the adage no pain no gain applies here. Break every few minutes to rub down the sufferer’s shoulders and upper back. If the victim comes to you within a few minutes of the first symptoms, you can get rid of it within the first five minutes. If the migraine sufferer arrives from somewhere in complete pain with nausea, it has sometimes taken me twenty minutes to relieve it.

Since coming up with this well over twenty years ago, I have taught customers, relatives and friends to get rid of these migraine headaches. Each one was different; but there is always a spot the victim can feel, where they experience a lifting sensation, and you feel a lump or lumps under the skin with your thumbs. On one customer, they felt like small BB's. It may sound simplistic, but I never saw another human being in such intense pain as my wife after four days straight with one of these things, and it has always worked on her without drugs, and on all the people I have shown over the years.

What a beautiful post. You and Erica are determine...

2008-11-26T17:33:00.000+01:00

What a beautiful post. You and Erica are determined to make me cry today.

I've had migraines for almost ten years now, but rarely more than two per month. Yes, I consider myself lucky. My mom had them from age 25 (when mine started) until 55, so I only have 20 years left. There's something to be thankful for. :)